Emotional Neglect

Do any of you feel like you've neglected your children when you were depressed?

I don't have kids. I talked to my therapist about that today, the possibility of children one day. She said that I had all the qualities to be a great mom, but she also said that studies show that bipolar parents tended to emotionally neglect their children in times of depression. I still have mood swings despite all the mood stabilizers I take. 

I told my best friend about this part of our conversation, and she tried to assure me that I would never do that. But, the truth is, I don't know. It would never be intentional, but I know how I feel when I get down. It can be down on the floor in the fetal position, a position where I am no good for anybody. Is it a risk worth taking? 

Then, there is also the thought that there is a genetic component to this illness. Do you bring a child into the world knowing you might well pass on misery and pain? 

I asked her the question about men, too. Her answer surprised me. She said he would be kind, compassionate and probably have a family member or close friend who lived with mental illness. It made sense. She said if he didn't have those qualities, he was probably a predator looking to feed on the weak, my paraphrase there. 

All in all, it was a good session. She encouraged me that my attempt to go to the class was progress in and of itself, whether or not I had a panic attack. She also said that my thinking about a future relationship meant that something dead inside of me was coming back to life because I had NO such desire before recent developments.